Monday, February 7, 2011

Girlfriend? Friend? Ex-Girlfriend? Best Friend?

I had a crush on this guy in my school. A very good-looking guy. But I don't think I fell for his face, I fell for his cute smile. His name was Zain. When he got to know that I had a crush on him, he started talking to me on the internet.
In the beginning, it was nice but I felt shy. As days went by, we became friends. But I couldn't just be friends. I really liked him and I wanted more. So I told him that. He said he wasn't ready and wanted to be just-friends for the moment. I said okay and let go of it because I didn't want to lose him as a friend. And that was it. It was all good for us. But then I lied. First, I lied to my cousin, Fizza. I told her that I had a boyfriend but I had her promise me complete secrecy. But it got out and the rest of my cousins got to know. And before I knew it, people in my school were talking about me and Zain. I was helpless. I couldn't deny it to the people in my school because if I had denied it and Fizza had got to know that I did, I would have got caught lying. So I accepted it. Zain had no idea that the kids thought that Zain and I were going out. So I told him that I don't know why but people think that we are a thing and since I couldn't explain it to everyone so when people asked me about it, I didn't deny it. He was annoyed. He said he wanted his status to be single. I asked him what the big deal was and that eventually we would tell the kids that we had a breakup. He wasn't convinced but he agreed.  
After sometime, I tried again. I asked Zain if he would take me as his girlfriend. He said that we were such great friends now and he didn't want to ruin that, so no. I was mad at him and I made it clear to him. So he apologized and explained to me what we wanted. He didn't want me. He didn't say it, but the way he said it, I knew. I was broken. Totally, completely, entirely broken. So now I told the kids in my school and my cousins that we had a breakup.
But stupid me was still clung to him. And when he told me that he wanted to be friends again, I responded with a desperate yes. So we started talking again. And eventually we became best-friends. And people still think that we were once in a relationship when we never were.
I still can't tell him because he has a girlfriend now and I don't want to sound desperate. I don't want him to know that it was me who started the lie.
And btw I am still single.

3 comments:

  1. Well, love can make ppl do things that usually arent in their best interests. Interesting post, honest and to the point. Hope writing it all down now makes u feel better.

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  2. He's lying you know ^^.
    Don't listen to him. :)

    Oh you're single!
    *racks brain for any good pick up lines*
    Question is, do you want to stop lying?

    ps. this font is antsy. I like it.

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