Monday, February 7, 2011

Girlfriend? Friend? Ex-Girlfriend? Best Friend?

I had a crush on this guy in my school. A very good-looking guy. But I don't think I fell for his face, I fell for his cute smile. His name was Zain. When he got to know that I had a crush on him, he started talking to me on the internet.
In the beginning, it was nice but I felt shy. As days went by, we became friends. But I couldn't just be friends. I really liked him and I wanted more. So I told him that. He said he wasn't ready and wanted to be just-friends for the moment. I said okay and let go of it because I didn't want to lose him as a friend. And that was it. It was all good for us. But then I lied. First, I lied to my cousin, Fizza. I told her that I had a boyfriend but I had her promise me complete secrecy. But it got out and the rest of my cousins got to know. And before I knew it, people in my school were talking about me and Zain. I was helpless. I couldn't deny it to the people in my school because if I had denied it and Fizza had got to know that I did, I would have got caught lying. So I accepted it. Zain had no idea that the kids thought that Zain and I were going out. So I told him that I don't know why but people think that we are a thing and since I couldn't explain it to everyone so when people asked me about it, I didn't deny it. He was annoyed. He said he wanted his status to be single. I asked him what the big deal was and that eventually we would tell the kids that we had a breakup. He wasn't convinced but he agreed.  
After sometime, I tried again. I asked Zain if he would take me as his girlfriend. He said that we were such great friends now and he didn't want to ruin that, so no. I was mad at him and I made it clear to him. So he apologized and explained to me what we wanted. He didn't want me. He didn't say it, but the way he said it, I knew. I was broken. Totally, completely, entirely broken. So now I told the kids in my school and my cousins that we had a breakup.
But stupid me was still clung to him. And when he told me that he wanted to be friends again, I responded with a desperate yes. So we started talking again. And eventually we became best-friends. And people still think that we were once in a relationship when we never were.
I still can't tell him because he has a girlfriend now and I don't want to sound desperate. I don't want him to know that it was me who started the lie.
And btw I am still single.


  1. Well, love can make ppl do things that usually arent in their best interests. Interesting post, honest and to the point. Hope writing it all down now makes u feel better.

  2. He's lying you know ^^.
    Don't listen to him. :)

    Oh you're single!
    *racks brain for any good pick up lines*
    Question is, do you want to stop lying?

    ps. this font is antsy. I like it.